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Thanks Stalker!
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wolfie
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Post: #16
RE: Thanks Stalker!

I think we did good here--nipped it in the bud. It isn't as if his motives are to gain Bible understanding and do research--on the Bible anyway. :thumbsup: sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do--one for the red queen :heartbeat:


''In the midst of winter I finally learned that in me there was an invincible summer.'' Albert Camus

''live simply, speak kindly, love unconditionally''
10-03-2010 12:42 PM
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Resolute
politicus incorrectissimus in extremis


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Post: #17
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Quote:
Starving this guy out, is isolating me, Rez. He is so deluded with his fantasy world that the reality of life, is eluding him.


Please let me explain what I mean by "starving the guy out". It doesn't mean you have to isolate yourself, but you may have to develop a technique for communicating with him that I call "the glass wall". This information is not directed at you, Debbie, but it's for anyone who may find themselves being victimized in a similar fashion. You are your own boss.

I developed the "glass wall" method of communication for my personal use when I was undergoing therapy over a period of 11 years. It became apparent that I was feeding information to abusive persons that could be used against me in the future. Give them a handhold or foothold and they will use it to get past your defenses, push your buttons to keep you in a chaotic state. They are masters of manipulation and know where your "buttons" are. Try to move your buttons by altering your response patterns.

You need a smooth glass wall that they cannot climb over. Silence is great, but not always possible when circumstances require that we talk to these ones that don't have our best interests at heart.

You have more control with text messaging than with verbal communication because you can take your time and think ahead as to whether the person can use this against you in any way. Here are a few "how-to" tips:

1. Recognize that it is not your responsibility to "fix" them. That's their job. If they need professional help, let them find it. You can't help them.

2. Acknowledge that you may be locked into a pattern of responses. (a rut) So, become unpredictable. (jump the rut) It throws them off their game.

3. Slow down your replies if you must reply at all. That will give you more time to think things through.

4. Try to use non-verbal communication only. ie...letters, text, emails, etc. rather than verbal. If you talk to them, they will try to push your buttons to get more information from you that they can use against you at the time or in the future.

5. Give them only what is absolutely necessary to get the job done, whatever it is.

6. Visualize a smooth glass wall, tall, black and shiny, with no hand or footholds as you compose your response.

7. Remember that they have been at this all their lives and are experts at what they do.

Debbie, your stalker has been here gathering information to use against you. That avenue has now been closed off. He will continue to try other sources. I'm so sorry that there are weak, ignorant people that continue to feed him. You have no control over them and are perfectly justified in keeping your distance. If they gave a hoot about you they wouldn't speak to this jerk. It sounds like they love to live in a soap opera world and need a real life. That's their problem!

My dearie, you have a rich and interesting life that you've made for yourself and your children. You have had more than your share of personal problems but have kept overcoming and have not lost your faith and have only become stronger.

May you continue to find the support and love that we all need. I pray to our Father that you do.

love,
Rez:siskiss:


When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one… – Edmund Burke
10-03-2010 12:55 PM
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Willa
Peace, baby!


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Post: #18
RE: Thanks Stalker!

I was thinking the same thing Malkah said as I read your post, Debbie. It's good, but a sad reality in this world, that you and the kids see through his delusion. I suggest a protective order if you don't already have one - delusional people are dangerous people. (hard life-lesson experience speaking :insane: )

:friends: Love you, sis - you're already in my prayers. :pray:


:heartbeat: You are my friends! I don't think it just by chance, but by God's Grand Design, that He has guided both our steps... to let your paths cross mine. :heartbeat:
10-03-2010 01:13 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #19
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Dear Rez:love:,

2. Acknowledge that you may be locked into a pattern of responses. (a rut) So, become unpredictable. (jump the rut) It throws them off their game.


:rofl:

Are you sure I needed this suggestion?

Thank you for taking the time to help. The freak is asking me to marry him in IM's, right now. Now, he's going to his Catholic Church. He can get his little pat on the back and feel like a good boy. Yes, I would fair better NOT talking with him in IM's. Yes, I am afraid he will kick up something somewhere. At least, I know WHERE he is. He IS stalking and calling my friends and sits outside their homes, tries getting on their computer lines. I've diminished my Facebook feed to practically nothing and I was having fun on it! Now, I have all kinds of things happen and they are kept to myself. I feel a little trapped and depressed about it.

I'm SOOOOOO sick of him!

Yes, he did threaten a slander suit from a post. LOL, I would like to see him try.

I'm thinking Australia sounds really good!

Thank you everyone and for the personal messages, too.:grouphug:

With Sis Love, Debbie


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-03-2010 01:15 PM
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Resolute
politicus incorrectissimus in extremis


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Post: #20
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Quote:
Dear Rez,:love:

2. Acknowledge that you may be locked into a pattern of responses. (a rut) So, become unpredictable. (jump the rut) It throws them off their game.


:rofl:

Are you sure I needed this suggestion?



:D No ma'am. You do not. That's why I said that it wasn't directed to you, my sweet.:cheekkiss: However, there are others out there who do. Hope they find it a useful suggestion.:thumbup:


When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one… – Edmund Burke
10-03-2010 01:22 PM
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Willa
Peace, baby!


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Post: #21
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Good post Rez! :thumbup:

Here are some verses, Debbie - you've probably already used them all, but it's good to remind us all. By every Biblical standard - and especially by the standards of God's spirit in us - you are right and he is wrong, on so many levels... The spirit guiding him is truly, as bro. Bangalore said: "scary". :(

2 Thessalonians 3:6-13 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

1 Corinthians 4:12 We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;

Ephesians 4:28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

:peace:


:heartbeat: You are my friends! I don't think it just by chance, but by God's Grand Design, that He has guided both our steps... to let your paths cross mine. :heartbeat:
10-03-2010 01:24 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #22
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Dear Sis Willa:love:,

I have a five year FELONY restraining order. Yep, five years in jail. I've put one on him here, too.

Also, the children and I are living somewhere that he can't find us. NO mail, no bills, nothing in our name. We have been hiding for months. He has camped out where he thinks I was, but we are not there.:D

He really is delusional.

Financially, I'm concerned. I have BOTH dads NOT paying child support. He talked my ex husband into quitting his job. They talk all the time. I understand the reason, why, more than they do. I still forgive, them, and their stupidity.

The funny thing is, God keeps providing even though it should be IMPOSSIBLE. That's the best part, I KNOW things will keep on keeping on. Its not the way I want or desire, but it is what it is.

Satan keeps chasing me, and I thank God that I'm so loved:love:.

With Sis Love, Debbie


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-03-2010 01:26 PM
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Willa
Peace, baby!


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Post: #23
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Amen sis - you know when you're loved! :love:

One more, because it's sooo uplifting and assuring about how our faith "more than conquers" and you are a Conquerer, dear sister! (now I'm done, lol)

Romans 8:28-39
More Than Conquerors
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

:grouphug:


:heartbeat: You are my friends! I don't think it just by chance, but by God's Grand Design, that He has guided both our steps... to let your paths cross mine. :heartbeat:
10-03-2010 01:44 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #24
RE: Thanks Stalker!

He is taking information and emailing it to people I know. I don't know if he already had it copied and pasted, or what!


Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!


How sad to have nothing better to do than spread my life around in a derogatory way. Its public and I acknowledge the fact. Its just, I didn't expect people here unless they were spiritual. The man is a couple of hours out of church and spreading gossip and trying to upset people.

Oh brother! Why?????

You know, I really see and hear demons with him. Horrible, unclean spirits. They laugh and keep him going until he's exhausted. He could spend days doing this and then he'll bottom out in tears. Its SO sad.


I need to avoid an email account until he is done blowing off his blow horn.

You would think that knowing my personal thoughts would be enough, instead, its used as a weapon. Its a good thing that I don't care. This isn't my secret life, this is my life.

I think I'm going to go back to the judge. This is ridiculous. I try to leave him to get well.


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-03-2010 04:24 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #25
RE: Thanks Stalker!

He must be using another computer's ISP.

He is reading everything.

I'm not going to write on this thread because it fuels his craziness. Please, don't answer any weird emails about me. A little information is all he needs to keep annoying you.

Bye, Debbie:love:


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-03-2010 04:30 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #26
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Oh Sis Willa:love:!

This one landed:

Ephesians 4:28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

:cheer::cheer::cheer:


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-03-2010 04:51 PM
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BeginAgain
Not So New


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Post: #27
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Debbie ~

I just have to say that I ditto what Beau said. Some of the comments that others made put me into hysterical laughter, but I know this is no laughing matter. What you're going through can cause physical sickness. This is more stress than anyone should have to go through EVER!

I was once there myself, . . my eyes were opened by the book, "Men Who Hate Women And The Women Who Love Them." The right kind of information can help you from making the same mistake again. My prayers go with you dear sister.

Warmest, Leisha


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present." Eleanor Roosevelt
10-03-2010 06:40 PM
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smoldering wick
ratio est radius divini luminus


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Post: #28
RE: Thanks Stalker!

So sorry I missed this during the heat of the moment, but I’ve been out of action for awhile and may have to get my anti-depressants again.

"If anyone fails to provide for his relatives, and especially for those of his own family, he has disowned the faith [by failing to accompany it with fruits(ie food shelter and clothing—my understanding)] and is worse than an unbeliever [who does perform his obligation in these matters]."—1 Timothy 5:8 (Amplified Bible)

And if a man deprived of all affection of wife and child can do it, where will this sinner find his mercy?

My final stint as PO on the body of elders was just that—assisting a sister who had change-of-name status under VPP (Victim Protection Program). And because she was moved under surveillance to the big city by police, I was required by police to act alone on her behalf.

In the process I read all of the court documents, witness testimony, police reports, and psychiatric assessments. Amazing. Her stalker husband had just been released from a year in prison for possession of firearms, abduction, unlawful confinement and uttering death threats. Yes, even after all attempts to rehabilitate the man he still insisted she was to blame, being so convincing that he had the entire BOE split on disciplinary action. Yep, that’s right—he was never DF’d and had convinced them all that she would have to remain married to him forever (i.e. until Jehovah says it's over) while she got rehabilitated.

Little wonder that I soon resigned as an elder and began my own journey to Christian freedom “outside the camp.”

Yes, these things happen. I’ve been stalked and I can tell you from a man’s prospective, it’s more than just a little unsettling (one reason I could never watch more than a few minutes at a time of ‘Fatal Attraction’). The strange thing is, women who stalk men don’t seem to realize they’re doing it—some even in complete denial. Anyway, don’t expect any religious body will protect you, Deb. Stalkers don’t respect people or structure. They feel quite confident working outside of the law and will resort to anything to shift the blame onto their victims.

We are the lonely trav’lers,
We walk the vacant land,
Beyond all birth in beauty,
And feet that walk in sand,
We cannot trust a stranger,
And dare not make a friend,
We are the lonely vagrants,
Of just this vacant land.

Continue to throw all of your anxiety on the Father of all through Christ our Lord.

sw


"What cannot be understood is no object of belief.” Isaac Newton.
----------------------------------------------------------------
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.” H. L. Mencken
10-22-2010 06:28 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #29
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Dear SW:hibye:!!!!

I've SOOOO missed you! Its OK if you take an anti D. I take a 10 mg Prozac, most days. Why waste too much time on negative thoughts?
You are who you are, I am who I am , and God said that He is the I am. So, we are all cool, my friend.
What is going on? I'm so self centered in projects. If I fling enough sheetz, something will stick.

With Sis Love, Debbie


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-22-2010 07:51 PM
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Ontheedge
Deborah


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Post: #30
RE: Thanks Stalker!

Dear SW,:love:

Some people will be visionary in their existence.

Have faith, even when your against the grindstone. We will not all react perfectly. Some of us will be broken against tests.

Chin up, and fight. We will be vindicated in God's Glory in the end.

I have faith in your faith, my brother.

With Sis love, Debbie


We may be suffering for a time but all things that belong to our Father will be bought back for Him. Be patient and have faith:pray: Learning to listen, patiently, for our deliverance.
10-24-2010 06:57 PM
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